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Headgear. What to wear, or what not to wear?

That is the question.
Since I have been in the Middle East, I have been intrigued by the differences in the various headscarves that Muslim women wear. Some head scarves are entirely black. Others are bright and colorful. Some headscarves cover the head and neck and show the entire face. Other scarves cover the head but show some neck and hair. Some scarves cover everything on the head and neck but the eyes - the windows to the soul.
No matter the type, all headscarves are wrapped up perfectly all day, every day. It amazes me to the point of distraction at times.
For someone who struggles to make her scarves look "artsy", and who, when wearing a scarf, usually ends up at the end of the day looking like she has her neck tied in a noose (as opposed jauntily sporting an artsy scarf) is amazed at these perfect wraps. Not to mention the pins fastened in them! I have a hard time getting the zipper up on the back of a fancy dress on the rare occasion I wear one, let alone get pins fastened on a scarf all around my head each and every day. If I chose to wear a headscarf daily, I would have a head which resembled a bloody pin cushion within one week - no doubt about it.
But what do these different headscarves mean? Is there a religious difference between them? A regional difference? A cultural difference? A marital status difference? Are there personal differences? I set to find out from five of my Muslim colleagues and what I learned was not at all what I expected. In fact I realized how little I really know about the women I work with. 
A few definitions - the word "hijab"  comes from the Arabic for 'veil' and is used to describe the headscarves worn by Muslim women that cover the head, neck and hair. A "shayla" is a head scarf which covers the head, but shows some hair and neck. An "abaya" is a long robe worn over a woman's clothing to cover a woman's shape.
I spoke with a few of my colleagues today about their choices regarding headscarves and dress. These are their stories:
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This (above) is Sahar from Sudan. Sahar is beautiful, funny, and is a fiery firecracker. Sahar did not wear a shayla until about two years ago when a close family friend died in a car accident. Immediately following his death, she decided to start wearing a shayla. She came to terms with her own mortality in dealing with the aftermath of death. She realized that she might be meeting God sooner than she expected, and wants her head to be covered when she does. Her mother and sister do not wear a hijab or shayla- when we spoke she wanted to be sure I understood that wearing her shayla is her choice and one she came to on her own terms.
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This (above) is Sidra. Sidra was born in Qatar. Sidra is constantly curious and has a razor sharp mind. Sidra has decided to wear a hijab and an abaya to cover her head and her body out of respect for herself and her religion. She feels her hair is precious and wants to cover it. She feels her body is precious and wants to cover it. She also mentioned that she wears a full black hijab and abaya so that her local community and friends do not judge her for not doing so. She feels since she has grown up in Qatar, that this is proper attire for a serious Muslim woman. She wanted me to know that she is from an educated family and that her parents left her choice of dress up to her.

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This (above) is Noor from Sri Lanka. Noor is ultra competent, warm and very thoughtful. Everyone loves Noor. Noor started wearing her hijab when she was in Sri Lanka during her university days. She started covering out of respect for her religion. She also found that when she was not covered, she garnered a lot of unwanted male attention. She started covering her head with a hijab and also covering her "shape" with an abaya and found that immediately the unwanted male attention stopped. She is now married and her husband leaves the choice to her on how she wants to dress. At times, she does not wear her abaya when she is out with her husband as she finds that men do not give her unwanted attention when her husband is with her. She prefers to have her head covered at all times, but has found the downside to this is hair loss. She also wanted me to know that she does not mind me not wearing a headscarf at work. She respects all personal freedoms and the individual choices that people make.
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This (above) is Sehrish from Pakistan. Sehrish is organized, meticulous and very quiet. She decided to start covering her head when she was in college out of respect for her Muslim religion. Now, Sehrish wears a head cap under her hijab as she wants to make sure no hair at all protrudes from her hijab, and she finds wearing a head cap and a head scarf (while warm in summer) is the easiest way to accomplish this. She likes to wear bright, colorful headscarves and how she wraps her hijab is her personal preference and her own style. She informed me that wearing a hijab is her choice. She is also reportedly very happy not to have to pick out clothes each and every morning.
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This (above) is Sana from India. Sana is very sweet. She is currently a full time student at our college and is working in our office over the summer part-time. Sana informed me that she is a Muslim and covers her head out of respect for her religion. She likes to find bright, graphic patterns for her hijab, and the wrapping of the scarf is her own personal style. She also let me know she is finding increasingly that her classmates now seem to wear their abayas as a fashion statement, as opposed to a way to respect themselves and their religion.
I was struck by a number of things in these conversations. Firstly, by the notion many of these women feel that their hair is beautiful and precious and therefore should be covered. I have not felt my wild, frizzy hair is precious one day in my life. Rather my hair is the bane of my existence. It is a wild mane I have to wrestle into supplication each and every day with products and hot appliances. I have also never thought of my body as precious. Rather it is a practical vessel to get me from Point A to Point B and most days I am not very fond of it. It does not meet "fashion" industry standards, and never will. I simply don't think of it as precious. Maybe I should?
I am truly amazed at the wide variety of reasons that these women have chosen to cover as they do. I am respectful of the choices that they have made and the reasons behind them. I was touched by the emotion in their stories. They were all very clear in making sure I understood that how they dress is their choice, and for the most part is not dictated by a father, a husband, or forced upon them by their religion.
These are beautiful women who choose to hide their outward beauty with coverings. Their decision on what they wear is founded in their religion, but is a deeply personal matter to all of them.
Again today, I realized how little I know about the country I live in and the people that l am surrounded by.
"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand
each other, we may even become friends.”
-Maya Angelou
Photo credit for the photo found in the page header goes to Yousef Zaidoon.